Every girl needs her tribe and there are vital players in each tribe. Your girl needs her girls and she needs to understand why each friend is important to the tribe. Today I am going to honor the one in every tribe called the Bailer-Outer because today, my tribe’s Bailer-Outer saved my forgetful soul.


The Bailer-Outer: She is that one friend that runs when you call and never questions why. She just goes. She is a phone call away and answers her phone when you call because she knows how serious the situation must be in you have resorted to calling instead of texting. She is the one you need when things start to fall apart. She is resourceful and can set aside emotion in order to problem solve in any crisis.


This friend is a must and is totally selfless and incredibly generous. She is one who believes in service and devotion and somehow knows you are struggling by just glancing in your direction. She doesn’t even need to ask you how you are feeling, she just feels your soul and responds.

The Bailer-Outer. She is there. She is your backup when you have overbooked yourself or need help with your hair. She gives you fashion advice without making you feel like a dork. She is incredibly wise and quick-witted. She is honest and trustworthy.


She is strong but to her tribe she will admit her doubts. She knows when to hold her tongue and when to speak her mind. She is most definitely a feminist and expects you to be real in return for her friendship. She won’t accept fake, she won’t tolerate facades.


She gives you everything she can. But note: because she is so completely generous with her time her friendship expectations are high with you, and they should be. If she is going to bail you out, then she should get the utmost respect from you.


She is a vital part of the tribe. She ties it all together and usually makes the best hostess.


When you find this friend. Grab her. Take her into your tribe. Celebrate her. This girl is your life saver. Just be careful not to take advantage of her. Replenish her soul just as often as she saves yours. She can be fragile and she will internalize her feelings until she starts to crack.

When she does start to crack, it is up to you to see she is struggling just by glancing in her direction. Then you need to be her Bailer-Outer. Be a phone call away, but if you can, call her before she needs to call you. It won’t take much to replenish her, but it is important to take the time to do so. Honor her contribution to the tribe.


She honors you and you must honor her. She is your life saver and won’t hesitate to reel you in when you start to float away.


To my Bailer-Outer, there is absolutely no way you could ever understand the depths of my appreciation for you. You are someone I strive to be like; your selflessness is humbling. I am in awe of you. Thank you for being there each and every time. You hold up half the sky and don’t even realize it. You amaze me.


Much Love - Heather